Silence.
There are days when I feel it's easier to just be with my family and books. Perhaps, the constant workload, project one after another at work, home is just the place u seek peace. relax. I'm not complaining. Its just a matter of fact, its our job. Just need to do it.. and how often I think its all about time management. So I'd rather stay at home and have a very good rest. There's much less potential for pain there.. especially that raya is coming and well, I don't really look forward to it this time, perhaps so, its because this year going to be the first time without my late grandma. I've been dreaming of her lately. Shes in white baju kurung, very berseri, clean and that smile. And to think I've been missing on my subuh prayers for the past few days..perhaps so, the 45mins nap before i finally wake up to get ready to work. Last Ramadhan, she sat on the corner of my bed and did her subuh prayers..and somehow, I'll just be awaken, and yes.. she will pat me after that and asked me to do my prayers. And i miss all that. perhaps, its a sign, for me not to miss my subuh prayers. I miss her. I miss her presence during iftar. I miss the conversations we had, what to prepare for iftar. It was one of those inspiring days.
And well, one thing i regret (tho i shouldnt) is that, she was keen to teach me how to do rempeyek.. and I was just too busy with work ..reached home just in time for iftar on few occasions, that I thot, well there will always be the next time. And we can do the rempeyek the next time, right nek?..and well not this time. and no, no more. aint the same. for she has left.
Lately, I've not been going out except last Monday. But then a friend sms-s and I remember why it's important to have him or her in my life. Thank you. I'm looking forward to tomorrow, saturday and next wednesday. yes. and of coz I'll definitely try to make it. Coz, what if tomorrow..never come?
There are days when I feel it's easier to just be with my family and books. Perhaps, the constant workload, project one after another at work, home is just the place u seek peace. relax. I'm not complaining. Its just a matter of fact, its our job. Just need to do it.. and how often I think its all about time management. So I'd rather stay at home and have a very good rest. There's much less potential for pain there.. especially that raya is coming and well, I don't really look forward to it this time, perhaps so, its because this year going to be the first time without my late grandma. I've been dreaming of her lately. Shes in white baju kurung, very berseri, clean and that smile. And to think I've been missing on my subuh prayers for the past few days..perhaps so, the 45mins nap before i finally wake up to get ready to work. Last Ramadhan, she sat on the corner of my bed and did her subuh prayers..and somehow, I'll just be awaken, and yes.. she will pat me after that and asked me to do my prayers. And i miss all that. perhaps, its a sign, for me not to miss my subuh prayers. I miss her. I miss her presence during iftar. I miss the conversations we had, what to prepare for iftar. It was one of those inspiring days.
And well, one thing i regret (tho i shouldnt) is that, she was keen to teach me how to do rempeyek.. and I was just too busy with work ..reached home just in time for iftar on few occasions, that I thot, well there will always be the next time. And we can do the rempeyek the next time, right nek?..and well not this time. and no, no more. aint the same. for she has left.
Lately, I've not been going out except last Monday. But then a friend sms-s and I remember why it's important to have him or her in my life. Thank you. I'm looking forward to tomorrow, saturday and next wednesday. yes. and of coz I'll definitely try to make it. Coz, what if tomorrow..never come?
